Recovery
by Debb
Summary: After escaping from the mines, Jessica tries to pick up the pieces and deal with what happened.
1. Jessica

There's something on her wall.

She tries to reassure herself that it's simply a shadow, that it's nothing to be afraid of. When it moves however, it's too quick and she's seen that movement before. She shuts her eyes, draws her knees up to her chest, clenches her teeth. _It's not real._ Except it is. It's real and it's there and it's on her wall just waiting to leap off and sink its claws into her, dragging her back into that nightmare.

She opens one eye, aware of how childish it seems. There's nothing there. She opens both eyes, checks around her room, lies down on the bed. There's nothing there, it's not real, she's safe. Except she's not. The moment she closes her eyes, relaxes on the bed, she can hear something and it jolts her awake. She sits up in the bed, staring at that same spot.

 _It's moved._

It's moved because she moved and now it's coming to get her.

"No, no, no, not again," she mutters. Slowly, she reaches for the flashlight she keeps at the side of her bed, switches it on. She shines it around the room. Nothing. Nothing in the corners, nothing hiding behind the furniture, there's nothing there. She swallows, sighs. Puts the flashlight back, freezes.

 _There's something there._

And so the cycle begins again and this is how Jessica spends her nights after the events of Washington Lodge.

~

It's the next day and Jessica hasn't slept all night. She lies on the couch, she's safe to sleep now. They don't come out during the day. She dozes, is startled awake when her parents return from grocery shopping. She makes her excuses, grabs her cell and retreats to her bedroom.

She lies on the bed, scrolling through her phone. She's lost track just how many she's went through now. On being rescued, she couldn't stand to look at her last phone and accidently-on-purpose broke it. She still has the numbers of her friends stored, she hasn't spoken to them since that night. The helicopter ride home was silent, neither her nor Matt knowing if anyone else had survived.

She scrolls aimlessly through the numbers, stops. She stares at it, wondering if she should call. Her finger hovers over the button and in seconds, she's dialled the number and listening to it ring.

"Y'ello?" comes the voice from the other end. He hasn't changed a bit.

"Mike?" she says. There's a tremor in her voice and she hates it. So much for the confident persona she was so good at pulling off.

There's a pause, a sharp intake of breath. For a moment, she thinks he's going to hang up. "Jess?"

She swallows. "Yeah…"

"Hey, how are you? I haven't heard from you much." His demeanour changes, she can hear the smile, imagines him leaning back in a chair, feet on a desk. _Typical Mike._

She shrugs unconsciously. "Oh you know, getting by."

"Jess, it's me. How've you been? Really?" Of course Mike would see, hear, through the façade. After it happened, they agreed to break things off quietly, Mike still too guilt-ridden that she'd fallen into the mines at all while she herself, well, she was too fucked up to do anything really.

"I hate my therapist."

Mike snorts on the other end of the phone, breaks into a laugh and she finds herself smiling too. "Yeah, that sounds just like you, Jess."

"The scars look terrible, Mike. I can't fix them, no matter what I do." No amount of foundation seems to cover them, they stand out every time she looks in the mirror.

"Yeah, I know. It'll…it'll take a while for them to all heal."

"I can't sleep at night. Every time I shut my eyes, I feel like I'm back there. And I can't…I can't…I'm so tired, Mike." She pauses, rubs her forehead. "I don't remember when I last had a good night's sleep."

His voice is quieter now and she strains to hear him. "I'm sorry Jessica. I'm so, so sorry. I was too late and I left you down there."

"You came for me, you did. I remember."

There's another pause, before Mike asks, "You've never told me what happened down there with that thing. The wendigo."

"I wandered, for hours. And I could hear it, all around me. It crawled up the walls, I could hear it screeching and making those horrible sounds." She pauses, takes a shaky breath and tries to calm her quickening heartbeat. "I didn't know where it was. Everything…my legs and my back hurt so bad, I could barely walk." She stops again, wets her lips, swallows, her throat suddenly dry. "It's why I can't sleep now, whenever I turn out the lights, I can see its shadow, crawling up my walls." She tries to will the tears back but they insist on coming. Her breath hitches, comes out shaky once more and a lump forms in her throat. "I just want to sleep, why can't I fucking sleep?"

"Jess, Jess, hey it's okay. It's over now. You're going to be all right."

She shakes her head. "Am I, Mike? My parents already think I'm some sort of…fucking whack job that just imagined all this shit."

"I know, I know. But I believe you, all right? We all believe you, all of us that were there. We know what happened, that it did happen." He stops, sighs. "You can't make that shit up."

There's silence, neither speaking, neither knowing now what to say. Mike is still on the line, she can hear his steady breathing on the other end of the phone. It is he who breaks the silence first. "Hey Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"I heard Matt was the one that got you out of the mine."

She wipes her eyes, her cheeks. "Yeah…Yeah, he did. I found him when I got lost. He got me back to the lodge." She stops, sighs. "Is he…still with Emily?"

"Yeah, as far as I know."

She gives a nod. At least they didn't break up too. "Good…Good, she makes him happy."

"Yeah, he does." He stops, clears his throat. "You okay, Jess?"

"Yeah…Yeah. I'm fine." Pauses, blows out a breath. Something catches her eye, it's too early to start. It can't be here yet. She tries focus her attention on the phone, the conversation at hand. "I'll be fine, I…guess. I'll have to be."

"You wanna meet up for a drink sometime? Get you away from your parents for a while, if you're not getting along with them."

"No, it's not that I'm not getting along with them. They're worried, I know." She glances to the door when she hears someone pass by it. "It's just…how the fuck do you even believe something like that happened? We were supposed to…It wasn't supposed to be like that…" The lump in her throat returns.

Mike says nothing, he doesn't need to.

She coughs, swallows the lump, tries to change the subject. "Did they find Josh?"

Mike sighs on the other end of the phone. "Not as far as I know. I think the search teams gave up after a while."

She stays silent, so much for that idea. She chews her lip, suddenly nervous, a churning in her stomach. Mike is the one to break the silence again.

"So! Drink. C'mon Jess, it might help." His voice is cheerful, properly cheerful.

The churning in her stomach gets worse. "But I don't…look…very good. I mean my scars, people will see them."

"Jess, I've seen them. I don't care. If anyone says anything at all to you, I'll bust their lip." On receiving no answer once more, Mike back-peddles. "I mean you don't have to, I don't wanna force you or anything. It would just be good to see you again. It's been what, months?"

Strangely she feels disappointment at not seeing him, not taking him up on his offer, despite the amount of anxiety and fear the thought causes her. She makes up her mind then and there, suddenly determined to claw back some of her old self. "Okay." She hates how timid she sounds. "Yeah, I'll go out for a drink with you."

"Awesome. I'll text you later."

Mike hangs up and Jess puts the phone down on her nightstand.


	2. Mike

She's standing in front of her wardrobe, raking through clothes, throwing dresses over her shoulder. Too short, too long, she doesn't like that top any more. She likes that top but not those jeans to go with it.

"No, no, no," she mutters, clothes hangers being swiped out of the way along the rail. "No, no." She pulls out one outfit in particular and wrinkles her nose at it. "Oh fuck no! Why did I buy that?" It's tossed across her room.

She trudges out of her room, flops onto the couch in the living room where her mother is. Her mother looks up from the laptop at the dining table.

"I have nothing to wear," she complains, folding her arms.

"Why don't you go shopping? You used to love doing that," her mother suggests, pushing the laptop away.

Jessica's eyes widen. "Are you crazy? Everyone will see me!"

Her mother shrugs. "Mike's going to see you and so will everyone else in the diner you're going to."

While texting, Mike and Jessica had agreed to meet in the daytime rather than a bar or club. From the texts, she got the feeling Mike was relieved at this decision.

"That's different…" She's aware it sounds ridiculous, that somehow it's different due to Mike's presence, however it is the only way she can reassure herself that everything will be fine.

Her mother doesn't argue, just wishes her well and offers to make her a snack before she leaves. She declines, returning to her room. It's hours before her date – is it a date? – with Mike, she still has plenty of time to make herself look presentable.

She eventually finds an outfit, jeans, open shirt over the top of a v-neck tank. She finds her most comfortable boots and wears them. As with her phone, the clothes, shoes, everything she wore to the Washington Lodge was discarded in one way or another. Despite it has been months since everything happened, she still has a slight limp, the wounds on her legs and back serious enough to cause problems even now.

Where once before she wore a little make-up, now she plasters it on, foundation, lip gloss, eyeshadow. Her cheek suffered the worst, most visible scar and she runs her hand down it, feeling the mark still raised under her fingers. She swallows, wonders if this is such a good idea after all. Of course it is, she can't stay hiding in her house or her room forever.

Her mother drops her off down the street from the diner and she tries to keep her head high, look straight ahead. She fails, eyes drifting downward to her feet, headphones in but no music playing. She tries to make herself as small as possible, take up as little room on the sidewalk. She's relieved when the sign appears in front of her and she spots Mike immediately.

The diner is _loud._ People everywhere, a hundred conversations all going on at once, her head feels like it's going to explode. _This was such a bad idea._ Mike stands up from the table, waves her over, a bright smile on his face. He hasn't changed much, doesn't look too worse for wear in the months that have passed. _Not like her._

"Jess! Hey, Jessica!" He waves to her once more.

She tries to calm the churning in her stomach, the feeling that everyone is looking at her, at her face, at that one large scar as if it's a giant pimple that no amount of concealer can disguise. _A pimple would be preferable. Remember when that was the most you had to worry about?_

She approaches the table, Mike still on his feet and he pulls her into a hug. She returns it, if somewhat woodenly. He seems to sense her discomfort, lets her go and doesn't seem too offended. He pulls the chair out for her and she sits down across from him.

"How you doing? You look great," he says, his bright smile still plastered across his face.

She snorts quietly. "No, I don't. You're just saying that."

He shakes his head. "No I'm not. You look really well after the last time I saw you."

She chews on her lip. The last time he saw her was a few hours after the reached the police station. She supposes she does look a _bit_ better than what she did then. "What about you? How've you been?" she says, trying to change the subject. She doesn't want to think about that. "Since I never thought to ask when I called you."

He laughs, grins at her. "I've been fine, just busy with school stuff, applying for colleges. Nothing interesting, really." A waitress passes by and Mike whistles to get her attention. "Hey, yo! Two coffees over here, thanks."

The diner is large with tables spread around and a bar of a sort across from them. Waitresses come and go, topping up coffees and bringing drinks back and forth. Some stop at tables to talk, regulars Jessica guesses, others are busier, rushing across the floor with plates laden with food. The conversations around her, the clinking of the cutlery against the plates, chewing, everything starts to get to her and she tries hard to focus solely on Mike.

"You remembered," she says, one eyebrow raised.

Mike nods. "Of course I did. White with no sugar, because you're..."

She laughs, remembering the joke shared between them. "...sweet enough. I didn't think you'd remember that."

"Surprisingly, Miss Jessica, I did pay attention in the time we went out."

The waitress returns with the two mugs, milk, sugar and asks if they want anything else. Mike shakes his head and the waitress leaves. Jessica glances over to the counter and feels her stomach sink. _The waitress is looking at her._

"Jess? Jess, what's up?" Mike says, pausing in dealing with his own coffee.

"The waitress is staring at me," she tells him, her voice quiet, near a whisper.

Mike glances over, tries not to make it obvious he's looking. "Just ignore her, Jess. She's jealous, that's all."

It settles her mind at least that he too, has noticed it. "Pff, really? Of what?"

Mike smiles once more. "That even with those scars, you're still the prettiest girl in the entire diner."

She bursts out laughing and Mike's smile widens. She forgot just how nice his smile was. "Smooth talker."

They sit in the diner, talk, chatting about school and all the mundane things she's never been interested in until now. For a while she forgets everything about Blackwood Mountain, wendigos and the mines. He's talking about his classmates, of what he's doing for some school event he's organising when she spots it. A head, peeking around the door of the women's restroom. Far too big to be a child, far too small and lanky to be a person, Jess knows immediately what it is. She tries to ignore it, listen to what Mike's saying. She glances back, it's moved. It's here and it's followed her and now it's lurking in the diner.

Mike has finished his coffee by this point, hers halfway done and all but forgotten about now. "So, what do you wanna do? There's a really cool park nearby, could stop by..." He stops mid-sentence, seeing the look on her face.

"It's here..." she says, quiet. Her heart pounds, she feels her breath coming in short gasps and her chest tightens. _No, not here._

"What's here? Jessica? What's wrong? Talk to me." He reaches across, takes her hand and gives it a small squeeze. While she appreciates the sentiment, it does nothing to help.

"Mike, I need to leave. It's here. The _thing_ that stops me from sleeping." She shakes her head, tears sting the corner of her eyes and she can barely get the words out between her gasping for breath. "I'm sorry..."

Mike nods, stands up from the table. "All right, give me a minute to pay the bill and we'll leave." He leaves, goes over to the counter. Jessica feels her heart pound faster and faster, she can't get a breath. The noise around her, the talking, the clinking, everything becomes so loud that she plugs her ears and her head pounds. She doesn't wait for Mike to return, she just has to _get out._

Mike finds her down the street on a bench, struggling to calm the panic attack that's overtaken her. Mike rushes over to her, puts his arm around her shoulders and takes her hand again. "Jess. Jess. Breathe, just breathe," he tells her, squeezes her hand. "You're going to be fine, you're fine. I'm right here with you."

The panic attack lasts a few more minutes. Passers-by glance in their direction, some even offering to help. Mike sends them all on their way, insisting he can deal with it. _Nice going Jessica, can't even go to a diner without fucking up._ When eventually she feels able, when the tears have stopped and the chest pains have gone, she sighs. "Well there I've just ruined the day."

Mike shakes his head, gives her hand another squeeze and removes his arm from around her shoulders. "No you haven't. What happened? What did you think was in there?"

Her voice is shaky. "The...thing. The monster from the mines."

He tilts his head. "The wendigo?"

She nods. "Something in the shadows...behind the door in the restroom, when someone went it. I thought I saw something looking at me from behind it."

Mike nods too, taking that as all the answer he needs for what just happened in the diner. "All right, what do you want to do then? Go home?"

There's another lump in her throat, tears again. She holds them back as much as she can. "I'm sorry Mike..."

He smiles again. _How can he remain so damn cheerful?_ "Don't be. We can save the park for another day."

She frowns at him. "What?"

"You didn't think this would be the last time I asked you out on a date, did you?" He pauses. "Or friend-date." He shrugs. "Whatever."

She raises an eyebrow at him. "After me freaking out in there like a fucking weirdo? Well, yeah."

He turns serious once more, the smile gone for a moment. "Don't. You're not a weirdo, after what we went through, you especially, you're entitled to all the freak-outs you want." He stops, bites the corner of his lip. "Is this the first time you've been out, like on your own since it happened?"

She nods.

He grins again, pulls her into a hug, lets her go and holds her by her shoulders. "You did great. You can report that back to your therapist, you made it all the way here on your own. That has to be progress, right?" He lets her go, stands up from the bench.

She too stands up. "I guess so."

He offers his arm to her and she slips her hand around it. "Come on, I'll walk you home and you can text me later, whatever you want to do for next time."


	3. Chris

She's just dozing off on the couch when her phone makes her jump. She groans, sits up. Her mother shoots her a look of concern, having no doubt noticed just how heavy the bags under her eyes have become. Jessica tries to smile, tries to assure her mother she's all right, but her mother sees through it.

She picks up her phone, frowns at it when she doesn't recognize the number. Her heart races as the phone continues to ring before going to voicemail. There's a tremor in her hand, slight, but noticeable. She clenches her fist, as if this will stop it.

"Who was that?" her mother says.

Jessica shrugs, already dialling the voicemail. Her eyebrows shoot up when she hears the message. "It's Chris." She goes back to the missed calls, her finger hovering over the number. How long has it been since she saw him? The Washington Lodge. She doesn't remember seeing him at the police station.

The phone rings out for a few seconds. "Jess! How are you?"

She stands up from the couch, already heading to her room. "Chris? How did you get my number?"

"Mike gave it to me. He said you wouldn't mind."

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh he did, did he?" She pulls the phone away from her ear, about to end the call.

"Wait, wait! Don't hang up!" She replaces the phone, listens to what he says. "At least talk to me for a bit, huh? Ash has been worried about you too. No one's heard from you since..." He doesn't finish the sentence, he doesn't need to.

She stays silent.

"So. How've you been?"

She snorts quietly. "How do you think?"

Chris hesitates. "Mike said you weren't sleeping well."

"Yeah..." She wonders what else Mike has told him, if he mentioned the diner.

"Know how you feel. Is it nightmares or...?"

She feels her stomach drop. He's having nightmares too? What the hell happened at the lodge? Part of her doesn't want to know, the other worries just how her friends fared.

"I see things at night, the...monster." She pauses, wets her lips when she feels them dry suddenly. "I saw it before, when I was out with Mike." Might as well hear it from her, what a whackjob she is these days. "I sound like I'm fucking crazy."

"You're not crazy, Jess. We've all been through a lot."

Once more, words fail her and she rubs her neck, a nervous gesture she's unsure just where she picked it up from.

Chris clears his throat, he's nervous. "Ash has been asking about you."

This does surprise her. "Are you two actually...?"

"Uh...yeah. Yeah!" Jessica can't help but grin. "I forgot you hadn't heard about it. Yeah, we've been going out for a few months now."

Her smile widens till her face hurts. She can't remember the last time she did smile as much. "Finally!"

"It didn't take me that long..."

She snorts once more and rolls her eyes. "Please. Everyone else could see the mega-crush you had on each other." She stops, sighs. "I'm glad you're both happy."

"Yeah, we are. But hey, means I have help in trying to cheer you up."

She raises an eyebrow. Just what's he planning? "Oh really."

"Really. You wanna do something later?"

Her stomach churns and she feels cold all of a sudden. The chill creeps down her spine, into her gut and she feels the beginnings of nausea take hold. After what happened with Mike in the diner, she never wants to leave the house again.

"I...I don't know Chris. I'm not really feeling too great." When the words are out, she feels guilty. Nice going Jess, way to lose friends and alienate people.

"Oh...Okay, that's cool." He sounds disappointed and the guilt becomes worse. "Hey, why don't I give you Ash's Skype and you can talk to her? When you feel up to it, that is." There's a noise in the background, as if he's rummaging for something just out of reach. "I know she'd appreciate hearing from you. She said there was a bunch of Tumblr...stuff, she wanted to show you."

"Chris!"

"What?"

She sighs. "No one's supposed to know about that!"

"Oh…" He pauses as the lightbulb above his head clicks on. "Oh! Your secret's safe with me."

Jessica pouts, aware she's doing so but uncaring of how she looks. "It better be."

There's another pause and when Chris speaks again, she can hear the smile on his face. "There's the Jess I remember."

"Ha! Trust me, she isn't staying long."

"You'll be all right, Jess. Just, don't avoid us this time. We have all been worried about you."

She's quiet again, unbelieving of his words that they've been thinking of her at all, let alone worried for her.

"You still there?"

"Yeah..."

"Right, I'd better let you go. I'll give Ashley your number too, in case you get a call from an unknown number and it freaks you out." He reads out Ashley's number, while Jessica jots it down on the nearest notepad.

She gives a small smile. "Hey, Chris? Thanks for checking up on me."

"Anytime Jessica. See you soon, maybe?"

She says her goodbyes, pins the number to the wall board in her room and for the first time in a while, feels somewhat optimistic about the coming days.


	4. Ashley

It's another sleepless night for Jessica and she lies on her bed, eyes squeezed shut, wishing the thing on her wall would go away already. She's exhausted, falling asleep during the day on the couch, in chair and occasionally in her room.

The door is open as always, light from the hall flooding in. It doesn't help. There are still too many dark corners, dark spaces for it, the thing, _wendigo_ to be. Where it could hide until she comes near and drag her back. She opens her eyes briefly, glances around the room. The shape seems to be away for now and she turns onto her side, arms folded, duvet pulled up under her chin. She sighs. Shuts her eyes. They spring open again, just in time to see something crawling up the wall she's facing. She lets out a scream and her mother comes running.

She's in her room the next morning, curtains open, lights on and torch by her side. There's a book in her lap that she barely takes in. Her mother calls her name, startling her.

"Ugh…why can't I just be normal and stop freaking the fuck out…" she mutters under her breath, heart pounding and that ever-so-familiar tremor in her hands returning. It comes and goes, appearing when something frightens her or happens suddenly, making her jump. She hates it all the same.

She goes downstairs and is surprised to find Ashley in the living room. Her eyes widen, she wants to flee back up the stairs, to hide in her bedroom once more. Ashley however, notices her and stands up from the couch. She hasn't seen her since Blackwood Mountain. Her hair is short, while Jessica remembers it to have gone past Ashley's shoulders. Now it's chin-length, bangs gone with a lighter tint of her natural colour in highlights here and there.

"Jess!"

Jessica approaches, slowly, carefully, as if it's a snake or bug she's going near. For fuck's sake Jess, it's Ashley not a fucking spider. She's engulfed in a tight hug from Ash to which she stiffens, out of habit, a shiver running down her spine.

"Ashley. I thought you were going to call first?" Jessica asks. She too sits down on the couch and gestures for Ashley to sit down once more.

"I know. I told Chris to give you my number but...I thought I'd come and see you in person." She smiles. "Are you feeling any better? Chris said you weren't feeling too great."

She nods. "I'm...okay, I guess."

"Are you sleeping any better?"

Jess opens her mouth to answer, decides against it and simply shakes her head.

Ashley sighs, adding quietly, "Me neither."

Jessica frowns at her. "What? You're having sleeping trouble too?"

Ashley doesn't answer.

Her frown deepens. "Ash, what happened up at the lodge?"

Ashley swallows hard and shakes her head. "Let's talk about something else."

She feels a pit grow in her stomach, that familiar churning, not quite nausea, not yet. "Was it really that bad?"

Ashley nods. "Yeah...Yeah it was." She glances to Jessica, leans forward on the couch, hands clasped in front of her. "I can't sleep for the same reasons you can't."

"The...wendigos?"

Once more, Ashley nods. "Yeah..." Oh dear fucking Christ. How did they get up there? Ashley forces another smile, sits up once again. "Anyway. Let's not talk about it. I didn't come here to depress us both."

Briefly, Jess is grateful. She doesn't want to know anything else about wendigos or where they come from. Whatever happened up at the Lodge, she'll find out sooner or later and for now, she takes comfort in the fact her friends made it out alive that night.

"Chris mentioned you and Mike had met up. Does that mean you're getting back together?"

Jessica shrugs. "I don't know what it means. I've not thought about it."

Ashley tilts her head. "Why did you break up?"

She sighs. "You know why Ashley, I wasn't in any state to do anything, let alone keep a relationship going."

"You were getting on so well with him."

She nods. "Yeah..." She shakes her head and crosses her legs on the couch, turning to face Ashley. "But hey, what about you? Chris said he'd finally asked you out. So come on, spill." She tries to smile. "Where'd he take you for a first date?"

Ashley smiles too, leans into the couch completely. "We went to that dog park, you know the one. Off East 34th street? We went there, went for ice cream then dinner. It was nice."

Jessica nods once more. "I'm glad you're happy, Ashley."

Ashley briefly nods, then lets out a brief sigh. "I'm getting there. Chris helps, when it gets too much." She pouts. "Though he keeps threatening me with horror movies, the giant doofus."

Jessica can't help but laugh to which Ashley's pouting only becomes more pronounced. "He won't do that, he knows you'd get all huffy with him."

"I do not!" Ashley gives her a light push on her shoulder and she flinches. Ashley notices and draws back. Smooth move, Jessica, she thinks, doing great at this whole alienating people.

They lapse into silence, somewhat awkward. Jessica clears her throat, musters up her courage and flicks Ashley's hair. "You suit short hair."

Ashley immediately reaches for it, twirling it between her fingers then holds a few strands in front of her. "You think? I mean I wasn't sure about it when I got it done, I thought about letting it grow again but..." She trails off and lets go of her hair. "You think it looks good?"

She nods. "Yeah, yeah. It looks really good, I don't know why you didn't do it sooner. Why now?"

Ashley looks away. "I...After the lodge...I got scared. I thought something could grab me, from behind, you know?" She plays with her hair, eyes downward, staring at her feet. "I thought if I cut my hair short, I'd be able to get away faster. I read it in a self-defence book." She pauses and snorts. "But they don't really teach you how to escape monsters, do they?"

"Ha...Not really. They're a bit shit for that."

Ashley looks up once again, looks at her, studies her. She feels uncomfortable, rubs her arm and glances away. "You look really tired Jess. How bad is your insomnia, really?"

"Fucking terrible." No point in dancing around the truth.

"Nightmares?"

She nods, adding, "And worse..."

Ashley looks as if she's about to burst into tears and Jessica wishes she hadn't opened her fucking mouth. She clears her throat, asks "You too?"

Jess nods. "Seeing things...during the day." She stops, rubs her forehead. "I thought it was just me..."

Ashley shakes her head. "Me too..."

She decides to try and change the subject. "Have you heard from the others?"

Once more, Ashley shakes her head. "Not much. Sam's kind of become a recluse these days, Mike's about the only one she'll talk to. Emily...we don't get on so well these days and Matt keeps his distance by default."

She frowns at her. "What happened up there? You and Emily have always been close..." She remembers after the Great Breakup of Emily and Mike, Ashley was the one Emily went to along with Sam. Even before, Emily had always been that bit protective of Ashley. What the hell could've happened to sever that friendship?

Ashley shrugs, glancing away again. "Yeah, well, reasons."

Jessica rolls her eyes. "Don't pull that bullshit with me, Ashley."

Ashley puts her hands up, shakes her head quickly. "Look, stuff happened up at the lodge. I don't want to talk about it. Not now. It's...too soon."

She says nothing, unsure of what she can say if Ashley is determined to keep it to herself.

"Like I said, I didn't come here to talk about depressing stuff or bring you down."

The guilt bubbles up once more and she feels bad to have seemingly upset Ashley. "Right, right...Sorry, I didn't mean..."

"No, it's okay." She looks around the living room. "Hey, where's your laptop? There's some stuff I've been meaning to show you."

Jessica gets up from the couch. "Over here. Hang on." She goes to the other side of the room, into the cupboard, rifling around the magazines and other oddities stored away. "That reminds me, you told Chris about my Tumblr?"

"It slipped out, I'm sorry. I know you swore me to secrecy about it."

"If that gets out Ash, I'll kill you."

Jessica continues to search, eventually coming upon the laptop and charger right at the back. "Here it is!" She turns back, prize in hand. Ashley however is now pale, trying hard to control her breathing. "Ash? Ashley? What's wrong?"

She jumps at the sound of Jess's voice. "Nothing! It's...nothing. I'm okay." She tries to smile, if only for the reassurance.

"Sure?"

Ashley nods. "Sure. Here, start it up. I'll get the links from my phone." Already she is distracting herself from whatever Jessica said before. Phone in hand, Ashley swipes her way through various pages before she finds the ones she wants.

She reads them out to Jess and they spend the next few hours hunting down memes and every other Tumblr-fad Jessica has missed out on in the months following Blackwood. For a while, it feels good not to think about monsters or mines or whatever lurks in the darkness.

Eventually Ashley looks at her watch and stands up from the couch. "Oh jeez, look at the time. I'd better get back before my parents start to worry." She prepares to leave and gestures to the door. "Want to come with?"

The thought of it makes her shudder. "I...I can't...I mean I..."

Ashley understands immediately. "You're having trouble going outside?"

Jessica can only nod and begins a careful study of the floor.

"I won't make you." Ashley hugs her once more. "I'll text you on the way to the bus." She waves from down the street, turning the corner to the nearest bus stop. Jessica closes the door and retreats to the couch once more.


	5. Wolfie

The cell phone rings, disturbing her nap and Jessica curses. Her mother looks up from the laptop in front of her, while Jessica shakes her head and sits up from the couch.

She takes her cell when it has stopped ringing, looks at the missed calls. As she's about to call back, the phone begins to ring once again.

"Jess, I've got someone for you to meet." Despite that she can hear the smile on Mike's face, her stomach plummets to somewhere in the basement.

"Mike, are you kidding me?" she answers, already leaving the room and retreating to her own. "I can't meet anyone! What if I freak out again?" Bad enough the first time. She does not want a repeat performance.

"Trust me, I think you'll like her."

She stops, a frown on her face. "Where are you, Mike?"

"Right outside your door."

Jessica makes her way back downstairs, looks through the hall window. Sure enough, there is Mike on the doorstep, cell phone in hand ready to call again. She opens the door and is pounced upon by a medium sized dog. To Jessica, it looks more like a wolf, though much smaller. It is a mixture of white, gray and brown and has the most stunning brown eyes. It showers her with licks and smiles a toothy grin as Mike tries to pull it back.

"Oh my God! She's so cute!" She kneels down in front of the dog, stroking its fur. The dog wags enthusiastically, its tail thumping rhythmically against the concrete path. "Is she a she?"

Mike nods. "Yeah. Her name's Wolfie."

Jessica gets to her feet, wiping her knees and gives Wolfie a last pat. "She looks like a Lady."

Mike scratches behind Wolfie's ear, the dog leaning into it. "She does look very feminine, doesn't she?"

Jessica shakes her head. "No, I mean her name. She doesn't look like a 'Wolfie', she looks like a Lady."

Mike raises his eyebrow, glances down at the dog. "You want me to rename my dog?"

A bright smile breaks out on Jessica's faces and she nods.

Mike looks to the dog once more and sighs. "All right. Guess you've got a new name."

Wolfie-now-Lady barks in agreement.

She looks over her shoulder then backs away back to the door. "Wait, let me get my jacket," she says, pointing over her shoulder to the house. "My mom's allergic to dogs, remember?"

A look of realization appears on Mike's face. "Oh that's right. I forgot, my bad."

She smiles and darts back into the house. Her mother is still on the couch, laptop now abandoned on the coffee table. "You going out?" she says.

Jessica nods. "Not far, I don't think."

Her mother bites her lip, studies her for a moment. "You think you'll be all right?"

She swallows, tries to calm the nausea. "I should be. Mike's with me and he's got a new dog." She smiles, in an attempt to reassure her mother. "I'll be fine, Mom."

Her mother nods, picks up the laptop once more. Jessica is very well aware her mother is still watching her, the laptop a useless disguise of this fact. She runs up the stairs, grabs the first coat that comes to hand and throws it on, rushing back down and out the door.

She's met with more licks and Lady jumping to greet her. She catches the dog, holds her by the front paws then lowers her to the ground. "So now what?"

Mike shrugs. "Well there's the dog park nearby, right? She needs a walk anyway." He pauses. "If you feel up to it, that is."

She hesitates. The thought of all those people… "I guess I could..."

"Think of it this way," he says, "if you don't feel right, we can turn right back around and leave. Go somewhere quieter till you feel better or straight home if it's too much."

She nods. "Ok."

Mike gives Lady a gentle tug on the lead and he's pulled almost off his feet. This continues down the street, past Jessica's neighbour's houses and the dog doesn't seem to have any road sense. At the crossing, Lady plans to barge straight across without a care until Mike hauls her back onto the sidewalk. Lady whines.

Mike, in return, glares at her, Lady oblivious to this fact. She simply wants to keep walking. Jessica watches him with the dog. She can tell he has not owned one nor been around many in his life.

The crossing light flashes green, Lady jerks him onto the road, down the street before she stops dead to sniff a trash can that appears quite fascinating. Once finished, she drags him further on, Jessica now struggling to keep up with the pace.

"Mike! Mike, here, give her to me," Jessica says. She reaches for the lead.

"No way, she'll pull you off your feet," Mike answers. "No. No! Don't pull me!"

"Here, let me try." Mike hands her the lead this time. Lady looks back briefly then pulls even harder. Jessica slows her pace completely, tries to ignore the twinge of pain in the back of her legs. It comes and goes but any sudden movements seem to make it worse. Lady pulls harder, causing Jessica to slow even more. She stops, Lady still pulling on the lead and jerks her shoulder forward. She winces, Mike about to take the lead back, however she waves him away. She can walk a dog for fuck's sake. After several tries at this, Lady gets the message and comes to Jessica's side. "Good girl, there's a good girl." She kneels down, pets the dog, ruffling her fur and scratches the dog's ears.

Mike, on the other hand, pouts, shoulders sagging in an exaggerated manner. "My dog likes you better than me..."

Jessica stands up and hands the lead back to Mike. "My brother got a dog after he moved out, he let me help train him."

He nods. "I remember you telling me about him." Mike pauses for a moment. "The dog, I mean. And your brother."

Jessica laughs, which makes Mike smile. It has been too long since she last laughed. "How've you been since I last saw you?"

She shrugs. "Oh you know, getting by. Ashley came to visit." She pokes Mike's shoulder. "You never told me her and Chris were together now."

"Must've slipped my mind. Well hey, now you know." They're closer to the dog park, Lady beginning to pull again. Jessica swallows hard, in her hurry she forgot to put make-up on. Her scars are visible, like a neon sign pointing above her head. Absently, she reaches up, traces the largest one on her cheek. It feels awful even now. "You feeling all right?"

She nods, a bit too quickly and enough that Mike doesn't believe her for a second. "Yeah...Yeah." She blows out a breath, Mike raising an eyebrow. "Just a lot of people here at once."

The park is teeming with people, all either walking their dogs or throwing a ball for them. The day is bright and sunny, however not very warm. She's suddenly very glad she decided to bring a jacket with her. She pulls her jacket tighter, feeling exposed and shrinks into herself, hunched over and small. Mike notices, puts his arm around her shoulders.

"You want to go somewhere else?" he asks, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

She shakes her head. She has to do this, she can't hide away forever. "Lady needs her walk, I'll be fine."

"You're sure?"

She tries to smile. "Yeah. Don't worry about me."

Mike doesn't answer, begins walking toward the entrance of the park. Lady, on seeing the other dogs, starts to pull and whine loudly. Mike pulls her back.

"Just like I did back there, don't let her tell you how fast to go," she tells him. As uncomfortable as it makes her, Lady does need to be trained and she remembers her brother doing this several times with his dog. Mike follows her instruction, slows his pace, doesn't let Lady haul him to whatever dog she wants to meet. "Ashley visited me."

"She did? I gave Chris your number after he texted me, didn't think she'd visit."

Jessica gives a nod and lowers her head when another dog walker passes them. "Yeah, she came over a few days ago." She glances to Mike. "She said her and Emily weren't speaking any more?"

Mike shakes his head. "No, they're not."

"Why?"

Mike rubs the back of his neck then sighs. "Stuff...happened up at the Lodge, Jess."

Annoyance bubbles up, just as it did when Ashley brushed her off too. Will no one tell her what happened at the Lodge? "Huh. She said the same thing."

Mike clears his throat, losing concentration and gets pulled toward the nearest dog bin. He pulls Lady away from it and steers her back onto their original route. "How was she?"

"She was," she pauses. "Different. Her hair's cut short."

"I haven't seen her. Does it suit her?"

"Yeah, it does. Kinda weird seeing her with short hair though, always been used to her hair being long."

A group of joggers pass by, one glances her way. It is no more than a second, the jogger's eyes rest upon her, then Mike's dog. They are gone, continuing down the path and through the gates out of the park. Regardless, it makes her stomach churn, her cheeks grown warm and she tries to resist the urge to run.

"I'll catch up with her at some point." He frowns at her, noticing her discomfort. "Still doing all right?"

She takes a few deep breaths, reminds herself that Mike is with her and that she can leave anytime. "Yeah, I'm fine." She takes another breath, trying to calm her quickening heartbeat. She changes the subject. "Don't suppose you have Emily's number, do you?"

Mike shakes his head. "Me? Nah. She...doesn't really talk to me much now. Nor Matt, all that much."

Jessica frowns at him. "Really."

He groans when he sees the look on her face. "Really." He sighs. "I can get it for you, if you want to call her or something."

"Yeah, I would like to." She tries to smile and nudges him with her elbow. "Think it's long enough that we've not been speaking over a guy."

He smiles too. "Ha...Guess so. All right, I'll see what I can do." He looks down to his dog, Lady whining and pulling him over to the nearest bit of grass. "Think Wolfie's a bit fed up, I'd better get her back home."

"Lady."

"Right. I'll walk you back home."

Mike leads her out of the dog park and she uses him as a shield against anyone else looking at her or her scars. While the day feels almost like a victory for being freak-out-free, she still feels unhappy at the dread that the thought of a day out brings. They walk back to her home, Mike giving her a hug of goodbye while Lady turns to look back at her several times as Mike takes her up the path and back out onto the street.

She retreats to her room, where she expects she'll stay for the next several days. It takes a lot out of her, the constant anxiety and fear whenever she goes somewhere, despite the familiar company. At this thought, she wants to cry and she wipes the tears that threaten to spill down her cheeks away, scrubbing at her face with her sleeve.

For the next few hours, she watches tv, tries to read various books but finds her concentration lacking. She can barely focus on the pages and ultimately gives up, laying them face down next to the bed. The night drags on, sleep eluding her when the shadows creep up the wall.

Her cell phone beeps, indicating there's a new text message. She checks it, finds it's Mike. The text contains another cell phone number.

"Try Emily on this number."


	6. Emily

She feels sick.

Her stomach flip-flops to somewhere in the basement and all residue of heat has left her body. She stares at the cellphone in her hands, the number displayed on it, ready to dial. It's been a week since Mike had sent the text with Emily's number, a week it has taken her to muster up enough courage to even consider calling her.

"Fuck it," she says. She presses the button, listens to the ringing on the other end.

"Hello?"

"E-Emily?" She hates how nervous she sounds, how she stutters the name.

"Who the fuck is this?" comes the reply, swift and unexpectedly biting. Perhaps this was not her brightest idea after all.

"It's…It's Jessica." At the silence, she adds, "Mike sent me your number."

This is clearly the wrong thing to say. "Who gave _him_ my number?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know."

There's another silence. This was a bad idea, a terrible idea even. She can feel the tears well up, the sadness. Perhaps their friendship is beyond repair, that after Beth and Hannah's disappearance and her getting together with Mike, it's too much to keep it afloat. "Please don't hang up…"

"Why?"

She sniffs, wipes her nose. "Because…"

The tone is softer this time, the harshness from before gone. "Why?"

Jessica swallows the lump in her throat. "I miss you. I miss talking to you." _I miss being your friend._

There's another pause. "I've miss you too." She snorts quietly. "As much as I hate to admit it."

Jessica smiles, brief and fleeting, it doesn't feel as much like a mistake now. "How've you been? Since Blackwood, I mean."

"I know what you meant Jessica." Emily sighs, her voice low when she speaks again. "I've been better. It's…hard to deal with." She hears Emily swallow, mutter something to someone in the background, Matt she assumes. "Matt helps but there's only so much he can do, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it. It's good you're still together."

Emily ignores her last remark. Whether deliberate or not, it hurts somewhat. "What about you?"

"I can't sleep." Might as well be honest, she can't help but think.

Emily sighs. "Neither can Sam, nor any of us really. No wonder, after what happened."

The event that should bind them all together is the event that has fractured friendships, perhaps beyond repair. In the case of Ashley and Emily, there is no going back. And yet, it has kept Matt and Emily together, brought Chris and Ashley together. If she is going to see some silver lining of the cloud that is Blackwood Mountain and the Washington Lodge, there is that much.

"I haven't spoke to Sam, haven't heard from her in months," she says, sitting down on her bed.

"Yeah, she doesn't really talk to anyone."

Jessica says nothing. She notices the darkness creeping in, the shadows that lurk behind bits of furniture. Every one of them could hide something, every one of them could contain a wendigo and she goes to the door, opens it, letting the light from the hallway in. She switches on the main light and adds to it with the desk lamp and bedside lamp.

"Look, you want to meet up, continue this face-to-face? I don't really want to do this over the phone. I want to see you for myself."

Again, her stomach plummets. "I…I'm not that great with going out…I-I get panic attacks…"

Emily interrupts. "Jess, Jess. Listen. I'll be with you. Matt too. You'll be fine. Meet me in half an hour in the café in town?"

She blows out a breath, a shiver creeping down her spine. "I…All right."

"That's my girl." She can hear the smile on Emily's face. "If I can't get Sam out of her apartment, I can at least drag you out of your house for a coffee date."

She laughs. "I guess I'll see you then."

Emily hangs up and Jessica puts the phone down on her bedside table. She rummages through her wardrobe, watches the sky turn from the light blue to a fiery orange and red. Red sky at night. She hopes the café will still be open.

Eventually she has chosen an outfit, having stayed in her pyjamas and dressing gown all day. Her stomach is churning, a mix of nervous excitement, something she hasn't felt in months. She puts on her make-up, grabs a coat on her way down the stairs. The moment she's outside however, the anxiety grips her, the thought of leaving her sanctuary that is her bedroom becomes all too apparent and it's enough that she almost does an about turn, returning to the house.

She shakes her head. No. She can't let it win, not this time. Not now. She steels herself, for the glances, the looks she'll no doubt receive. Let them look.

She marches down the street, head held high, and toward the café in the middle of town, only to find the shutters being pulled down by one of the waitresses that normally serve. There's a car at the side of the road, the door opens and out steps Emily. She hasn't changed, not one bit. Ever confident, in a few long steps, Emily strides towards her and grabs her hand.

"I forgot that café closed so soon," she says, dragging Jessica to the car. "Come on, Matt will drive us to the nearest Starbucks. Don't worry, I'm paying."

The drive is uneventful. Matt, once he has done all the meeting and greeting, drives carefully and obeys every rule of the road. Emily however has no patience for this and Jessica can hear her sighing. They arrive ten minutes later at the mall, Matt drops them off then goes to find a parking space and pay for it at the machine.

Emily finds a seat close to the window. It's light and airy and Jessica is grateful for the space. Much to her relief, Starbucks is quiet, with only a few students and people glued to their laptops taking up chairs around them. The noise of the coffee maker makes her jump and Emily tenses too. Matt appears at the door and sits down at the table next to Emily.

"You need to do your make-up," Emily tells her.

Jessica's hand immediately goes to the scar running down her cheek. "I did it before I left."

Emily stands up, takes Jessica's hand and pulls her to her feet. "Come on then, we're going to the bathroom." She turns back to the table. "Matt, can you order? You know what I like."

Jessica doesn't have a choice as she is dragged to the women's bathroom and deposited in front of a mirror. Emily rakes through her make-up bag, pulling out eyeshadow, foundation and lipstick. She pulls out a packet of make-up remover wipes and dabs at Jessica's face. She removes all of the make-up Jessica had put on before leaving her house, then takes each item, carefully applying it. When she's finished, she turned Jessica around to face the mirror.

"Wow, Emily. You've completely hidden the scars," she says, turning her head from side to side.

Emily is almost swelling with pride. "Go on, say it. I'm awesome."

Jessica grins at her. "You're awesome." Impulsively, Jessica pulls Emily into a hug, one which is returned, if rather woodenly. Jessica does not take offence and lets go.

Emily hops up onto the sink counter in the bathroom, swinging her legs over the side. "Have you seen anyone else yet?"

Jessica nods. "I spoke to Chris on the phone, met up with Mike a few times. He sent Ash round to visit too."

Emily frowns at her. "You're not getting back together with him, are you?"

She shakes her head. "I don't know yet." She too frowns. "Why?"

"You know what he did, don't you?"

Once more, she shakes her head. She can't help but feel annoyed, that everyone is privy to some secret except her.

Emily's eyes widen and her jaw falls open. "No one's told you?"

"Told me what?" Jessica snaps, "I ask Ash and she tried to avoid answering me, Mike too. No one wants to tell me just what the hell happened at the Washington Lodge that you and Mike aren't speaking any more."

Emily snorts, her nose crinkled, eyes narrowed. "He tried to fucking shoot me Jess." She points at her forehead. "Held a gun at me, right here."

Jessica is speechless. Why would Mike do such a thing?

"Nobody told you?"

"No…" She pauses, shakes her head again. She can't process what she's been told. Not Mike, not her Mike. Not Mike that chased after her in the cold and the snow, that felt so guilty he didn't save her he couldn't even look at her in the police station when they were found. "Why would he try and shoot you?"

"I got bit by a wendigo in the mines. They thought I was going to turn into one and Ashley and Mike wanted to kill me." Emily looks up at her, her gaze having been fixed to the floor. "You really didn't know?"

"No. Mike tried to avoid talking about you as much as possible, didn't want to say why you were so mad at him."

Emily shrugs. "Well, now you know."

And it changes everything. "What…happened to Josh?"

Emily brings her knees up to her chest. "Sam told me he was killed by a wendigo in the mines. Hannah, I think."

Her eyes widen. "What?"

Emily hugs herself tighter. "Hannah. She turned into one of those things. I found Beth…Beth's…head. And Hannah's writing…and oh God…" By this point she's rocking back and forth, hands covering her face.

Jessica goes to her, pulling her hands away and engulfing Emily in a hug. "Em, Em, it's okay. It's over now."

"It's not though, is it? No matter what my therapist says, I have to live with this shit every day."

Jessica just holds her. "I know…Matt told you what happened in the mines?"

Emily nods.

"Then he knows how you feel, _I_ know how you feel."

Emily sniffs and pulls away. "Yeah, yeah you do." She wipes her face and re-applies her own make-up. "Don't tell Matt I freaked out?"

"Promise."

Emily hops off of the counter and goes to the door of the bathroom. "Come on, let's have coffee. Whole reason why we came here. Matt will drive you home."

Jessica can't help but raise an eyebrow. "Does he know he's driving me home?"

Emily waves her concerns away, putting an arm around her shoulders. "He doesn't mind. Come on, let's go."

Jessica lets her lead her out of the bathroom and stays quiet the rest of the time they're there. Matt, as promised, does indeed drive her home and drops her off at the front door. She goes into the house and to her room as always. She has a lot to think about and a lot to talk to Mike about.


End file.
